Blog Nation

December was a big month for TrueNuff TV! as we ramped up our productions to a new lofty goal of at least three new videos per month. One big sketch release, one smaller sketch or feature release and a monthly vlog styled "video update" to let you know what we're up to. We discussed that plan amongst us for the past few weeks, and rather than wait for the new year we'd thought it'd be better to end this year with a bang!

We've got more big goals for 2008 - more videos, a new site, and a DVD. As Cranston said it last month "More TrueNuff TV! comin' your way"

Thanks for watching, bring on the New Year!

Videos

Glacier Race

We unleashed this on YouTube two weeks ago and it seems to be one of our better received sketches. Check out this outtake if you want to see more Glacier Racing action.

TrueNuff TV! Bloopers 2007

Our bloopers have officially become a yearly thing. We had some good chuckles while skimming our tapes this year and it reminded us how much fun we have doing this stuff, so hopefully you will have a fun time watching it

Video Update: December 2007

We've released our second video update outlining what we've been up to in December!

Community News & Other News Bites

TrueNuff TV! + YouTube =

We've finally become a YouTube partner! In the past we'd upload new videos to our site first then YouTube a couple weeks later. Now we'll be uploading to YouTube first and foremost then the other sites a few weeks later.

Project Wonderful

We've signed up for Project Wonderful so you can now advertise on TrueNuff TV! for pennies a day!

Facebook: Battle of the Brands (Fan Profiles)

We've got a Facebook "fan" profile for TrueNuff Comic & TrueNuff TV! so you can show your support - be sure to join the TrueNuff Group as well.

Donations 2007

TrueNuff TV! made a series of contributions to a few different charities this season - read about them here, here and here!

The Saddest Little Hooker in the World
The Saddest Little Hooker in the World
Our newest sketch, err, music video actually, is now live all over the Internets! Wherever you get you videos online, they have it - most importantly at TV.TrueNuff.com. It's a little ditty called "The Saddest Little Hooker in the World," a harrowing tale of one lonleygirl's journey to the means streets of Canadatown.

CLICK IT AND BRICK IT.

Redirect?
We got the TrueNuff Blog running again (finally) - so I'll probably be posting my falsehood and accusations over there now.

Late nights at the Piggly Wiggly
Ah, late night grocery shopping. One of the pleasures of the young single life. Especially if you've ever tried shopping at like 6:00 pm or on a Sunday. I usually hit up the Save-On around 9:30 or so, I'm in and out in 15 minutes because I go in knowing exactly what I want, nay what I need.

Milk
Bread
Cheese
Meat (whatever's on special)
Bag o' salad (awesome!)
Dishwasher detergent (best appliance EVER!)

Last night I decided to go the extra mile to Superstore however, since there are a few better deals to be had, and I love those savory/primavera buns the bakery makes.

So I pull into the lot around 9:15, but hold on, what's this? There's NO GODDAMN PARKING. What the Hell? It's the biggest fucking grocery store in the city of Richmond and it took me like 5 minutes to find a bloody spot. Not a good sign. I get inside? Mayhem. Is there a sale? No. Is the double points days or something? No. But for some reason, every moron in a 5 km radius wanted to shop at the same time as me. I mean, should most of you people be... doing whatever it is you people do at 9pm??

I mean elderly couples, who by the way should have their own grocery storesas it is, aren't they usually in bed? Just meandering around the aisles - "What do you think of this one, Martha?" "What is it?" "I think it's some kind of foot soap." YOU'RE IN THE FLOOR CLEANER AISLE, BERTRAM. JUST MAIL ORDER WHAT YOU NEED NEXT TIME.

Oh, and the families. Two little kids. Ina grocery store. at fucking 9:30. It's bad enough to have kids in a store, but SUPERSTORE? I mean that's an hour trip. AND the kids are fucking TIRED. Why subjetc them, and ME, to that kid of punishment? Are you that mean? Or just bad parents? Or just bad citizens? I'm afraid I have to revoke your parenting license. I'll take the kids and let them go in the forest. We'll all be better off.

And can somebody form a theory about this: I was stuck in the cashier line behind three chinese ladies in their 40s, who were buying (together) 3 cartons of eggs, a 24-pack of Kinder surprise and a jug of milk. WTF were they making? Did the knwo that the kinder surprises weren't real eggs?

Grrrragh.

Batman needs a challenge
James just sent me a link to a not-so-important story about how Heath Ledger is going to play the Joker in the next Batman movie. That's neither here nor there becuase I don't know his work outside of A Knight's Tale, and I only know that movie because this girl I liked was obsessed with him at the time it came out, and my Dad loves Queen.

I am, however, disappointed to hear that there's going to be another Batman movie about The Joker. I mean, there are something like 100,000 super villains in Gotham City as it is (Don't move there, it's an epidemic) - I don't know most of them, but still, I recall there being a lot from the old cartoon show. But I think Batman is finally ready to face off against his ultimate match: Shere Khan.

That's right, bitches, I'm talking about Shear Khan, the tiger. And I'm not talking "Jungle Book" Shere Khan, I'm talking about Shere Khan from The Disney Afternoon's TaleSpin. The evil corporate giant and millionaire. He'd be a great match for Bruce Wayne becuase he's also a powerful and influential millionaire, and he'd be a challenge for Batman BECAUSE HE'S A FUCKING TIGER.

Anyway, the highly anticipated follow-up Mac Spoofs will be going up in the next few hours, so check 'em out! We've now had over a million viewers at our YouTube page alone, and then there's Google Video, ifilm, TrueNuff TV and all those other sites we're on now, so I hope this next batch will be hot, too.

Laters.

Big bidness!
Crazy business coming up surrounding TrueNuff. Obviously we had this viral hit with the Mac Spoofs, we're coming up on a million views on those sketches alone, which is awesome. As a result, people are coming out of the woodwork wanting to get a piece of the action.

The first offers we got were from "premium content" websites, which are basically just those video blog sites where people collect clips from around the internet and post them on their own sites, which people are allowed to do with ours, but these sites for some reason wanted an exclusive deal with us, and we weren't even going to get paid, which is rediculous. Then came the mobile content providers, who want to put our stuff on cellphones. This I think is very cool, and their agreement is great because we get 50% of the revenue and it totally lets us keep all rights to the work, so we could even go with a competitor of theirs at the same time if we wanted to.

As well, we have a few tangential connections to Viacom, through GameTrailers.com and getting "Editor's Pick" for the three sketches on ifilm.com. There's some submission options to some VH1 show called "Best Week Ever" but they already had a couple of Mac Spoofs or something that made the rounds around the viral networks, although they really sucked.

Also, we were contacted by a journalist from TV Week who wanted to feature our sketch in an piece about viral video and next-gen video entertainment. When we got back to her though, she said that her editor wasn't too keen on referencing our sketch because of it's possibly being viewed as having negative racial content. During our meeting, as a joke James started to write back telling her to "take a chance" and "push some boundaries" and we all laughed but then decided to actualyl send her that, I mean why not, right? She was writing us off anyway. Well James wrote her that email and she responded pretty soon after saying that she agreed with us and she should, but her editor was only worried about some of the higher-ups and how they might take it -- because they're black.

"Oohhhhhhh... I get it."

Well it's all good, because she still wants to do a little profile on our group and about how we started fro the Viral Video article, so hopefully we still get some publicity out of it, even if they don't reference any specific sketch (which is just find by me, because as Moze said "Wow, we're a one-hit wonder!")

It's all very exciting. Sexually.

The Office.
Man am I sick of Business. I say Business with a capital "B" because I mean the oldschool corporate ecosystem with its handshakes and the phony friendly salesmen and the "help me to help you" BS where everybody is trying to pretend like their company is the far and above best choice even though their prices are higher and their service sucks.

The sales manager from our ink and toner supply company just came in to suck up because the sales rep we had (who just got fired) was a total douchebag (I know, right?) and tried to rip us off. He was all shmoozy and pulling the friendly-but-intimidating thing to try and get me to agree to turn over more business to him by giving him our service contracts. He goes on and on about how he's been working with our company for 14 years and keeps name-dropping the people that have been here for that long to prove it. LIKE I CARE. Just give me the best price, man. And show up once in a while. That's all I ask. I don't want you around a year from now, only if you keep up good goddamn service. Don't pat me on the back, or ask me how my weekend was, or tell me about people that I see here every day. I KNOW THEM. YOU KNOW THEM. I GET IT.

They're full of contradictions "Well let's not bother your boss about little stuff like this" - "Make sure you tell your boss that" - Yeah, you know what "friend"? I'll tell my boss whatever the fuck I want. I'll tell him you showed up here without pants on asking me if him and his wife split up yet. I'll tell him that in a show of trust you offered to let me inspect your colon for a 20% discount. JUST TELL ME IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN AND BUGGER OFF.

And change the cartridge in the photocopier on your way out.

Sats and Suns
Pretty friggin' sweet weekend.

Start off Friday, when James and I uploaded the new TrueNuff Mac Spoofs. Unfortunately our host is incompetent and TrueNuff.com was offline (and as of this posting, still is) so we posted them on YouTube - I'm sure those of you who saw any of my several bulletins knew this. So I uploaded the Networking, Gaming and Performance ads and after posting links to them weherever I could, went about my business. Later that evening Brando and I went to Grant's going away party as he heads back to the Land Down Under for a year.

As I'm partying, I start receiving a series of text messages from James and Sean that Performance was being featured on the front page of YouTube, and that we've gotten 10,000, no wait 50,000 no wait 100,000 views! By the next morning we had 250,000 and as of this writing we had over 400,000 views of our Performance sketch, with bleed over into our other TrueNuff sketches.

The funniest thing though is the controversy. The featured sketch features our buddy Shadrach, a black guy, and makes a subtle innuendo. This sparked a crazy debate about whether or not the sketch is racist and of course brought out all the crazies too, because as we all know the internet's anonymity makes it all too easy for closet bigots to spout their various narrow-minded views without fear of repercussion. But a lot of people also stuck up for us, and pointed out that IT'S JUST A JOKE - not to mention there's a lot worse on all kinds of TV shows so whatever, screw those guys. We got a lot of new fans and a lot of very nice emails and comments and that was very cool.

Anyway, come Saturday we were off to Whistler for the Kokanee Crankworx Freeride Mountain Bike Fest. The oldschool crew and I loaded up with all the waterguns we could find and went to the Village and caused mischief. I'll you, in 35+ degree weather, if you have a little mister spray bottle you are everybody's best friend. The funniest part was how many people would ask us "That's just water, right?" It was a lot of fun to go into the middle of the plaza and just draw our guns and have a mexican standoff. People would actually scatter away too, it was like a western film or something. Once the battle would start, we'd find bystanders to pass of extra waterguns to and get them involved. Sometimes people would just run up and join in too, like the lovely Kokanee Glacier Girls or the Jim Beam Party Crew. I'd like to go up again next weekend but the other guys from this weekend's crew are all indisposed. Anyone want to team up?

And finally to cap it all off, last night for dinner I had a bag of Bugles and and glass of 12-year old Scotch.

Sweeeeet.

Eureka! J.Rai on TV!

Remember this? I was an extra in a pilot for a TV series on SciFi last spring called "Eureka." I was only on set for a day but it was a long-ass day. Anyway, if you follow the show link there you'll see if just premiered the Pilot/first episode (the series has been picked up) and you can watch the whole 2-hour (jsut over 80 mins without commercials) first episode on the show's SciFi.com website. And that's right, I'm in it.

If you check it out, about three quarters of the way through, I make my appearance. "Delta Force soldier guarding door." I'm the one on the right. Of course, you won't see me, because I'm blurry as all Hell but trust me, IT'S ME. I'm all over that warehouse/laboratory scene.

I'm actually standing at both ends of the palce simultaneously, because they shoot from either side seperately, so I moved to whatever side they needed people on. MOVIE MAGIC. Oh, you can also trust me when I say I later took out Erica Cerra, the girl playing the police deputy, for dinner and we had a great time. Oh yeah, you can trust me on that. Don't try to verify it or say anything about it to her. She'd, uh... just deny it, becuase y'know, I broke her heart and stuff. Yeah. I'd really rather not talk about it. Nice girl though. Great personality.

We're going to need guns. Lots of guns.
So yesterday Brando and I went small arms shopping. I bought 9 water guns, including a shotgun which is pretty sweet. Brandon bought 10 (dangit) but I think we'll still be pretty evently matched. Besides, it's not about me vs. him, it's about getting other people in on it. Looks like Rob is a possible in, and James seems down too, so this may be an oldschool TrueNuff Crew thang, which is cool. If we incorporate our TrueNuff drinker tees into our costumes, we might have a street-team look going, and plus we'd have beers on our shirts, which gets the point across.

It occurs to me this would be a cool Flash Mob thing to get going (if not entirely original) but I wouldn't know how to get the word out to the masses this soon. I should hit up Craigslist or something quick to get people talkin maybe.

So yeah, as I said Brandon and I went shopping for waterguns yesterday. But God Damn if I can't find a fucking Super Soaker anywhere. They're all sold out, but when does the new stock come in? And why THE HELL did SS start making the Oozinator? The only thing that WASN'T sold out in the watergun section was that gross-ass bukkake simulator. Ew ew ew. Why would you want to shoot your friends with sticky goo on a hot day? Doesn't make sense. I hope that guy got fired. It did help me to identify where on the shelf the other Super Soakers were supposed to be though.

Mad weekend!
Good weekend.

Headed over to the island, taking Kitty to her new home. Some old lady in a double-wide. Has another siamese cat already (ugly as sin though), it's like 16 years old and I laughed because I'm sure Kitty'll beat the shit out of the other cat and make sure she's the only cat in the house after not too long.

Saturday night I got to hit Victoria. Swing by Carsen's place and have some beers and play some mandolin. Those are cool, I gotta get me one of those. Or maybe a Ukelele. Something tuned in fifths.Off to the Garrick's Head in Bastion Square next for some Herman's. Nick joins us and tell me about his sweet new job with a huge pay jump, sweet office and crazy benefits. Programming financial analysis software. WTF? God damn if he isn't the best paid highschool dropout I know. :D Good for you, man.

Nick and I were then off to see Dieselboy at The Jungle Room (or Jungle or whatever it's called now). That was a crazy fuckin' show. Nick's back on the drum and bass train and I gotta say I'm tasting it again too, a lot has changed since I stopped following it like 4 years ago. We've now made our one-bilionth plan to produce some tracks together, all I need is an Alpha Juno for those sweet hoover sounds. Yummy. My bro Steve showed up too with his buddy Chris, that was cool. The beer girl was throwing ice at me and went I went over there to harass her about it she put her hand down my pants. Subtle.

Of course, since I was with Nick, we had to go to Hush too, where he's a VIP. It's funny hanging around a club after it closes, when all that's left are the staff, the DJs and the girls trying to fuck them. Not a bad gig I guess.

After that Steve, Chris and I just wander around downtown for a while, Chris flexing his freestyling skills and me beatboxing along to back him up. He just keeps going and going that guy. I nearly ran out of beats! Nah, I didn't. I'm cool like that.

I also checked out Steve's new roommate's old car he has for sale. A '91 Civic. Yes, I'm going to get rid of El Toro. (I just realized I don't have any pics of El Toro!) I just don't need the utility I used to, and it's not as good on gas as I should have these days. Plus getting an older car will knock my insurance down, and I'm pretty sure I have 10 years safe driving this month so that'll cut ICBC's grip on me way down too. Those bastards. I just hope my keyboard will fit int he hatchback if I need to take it somewheres. I'd love to start gigging again soon. I have lots of ideas.

So yeah, some partying, some drinking, catching up with carious people and a topless hitchiker later, it's back to the grind. I have some extra-curricular work ahead of me int he next couple days trying to finish the sound for TrueNuff's new Mac spoofs which are supposed to start going up this weekend. Woo!

Stay safe, kiddies.

Curious Kitty

Well, the time has come. I've found a new home for Kitty. She'll be better off in a place where someone will spend time with her and such, plus be with someone who's willing to, you know, take her to the vet and such.
I'll admit I'm kinda sad, I've had her for a number of years (God has it really been... 5 years?) but I can't have her waking me up in the middle of the night, meowing at all hours and throwing up on Brandon's carpet, not to mention stinking up the place.
Plus I'll finally get rid of the last remind of that relationship I was stuck in for so long years ago.

Good camping weekend.

Headed south of the broder to hit a Washington State park this past weekend, a stag weekend for our buddy Santos. Hit up Wenberg State park - the State parks are pretty nice and CHEAP too, unlike BC provincial parks, only $15 a night! There were 7 of us, including the whole TrueNuff crew. Many beers were had and yes, Santos spent most of the weekend in a dress. Muahaha.

My invention
OK so I have the concept, but not the plan, for a new device.

You see, it extracts cigarette smoke out of the air coming into my apartment from my fuckwad neighbours and condenses said smoke into a horrible smelling coil of dog shit that I can then push through the mail slot back into their apartment. In fact, it also does that with bad food smells from the week-old fish and what I can only assume is a mothball/compost stew that the other people in this building cook for dinner on a nightly basis.

I will patent this idea but will allow anyone to manufacture and sell it, in fact I'll even subsidize the manufacturing, just to encourage the use of a device that extracts the disgusting pollutants from my personal airspace and in turn deposits feces into the kitchens and living rooms of these fucking morons.

What the Hell ARE you?
Why the Hell do I never meet anyone who acts like their normal fucking self when I meet them? Why do all the girls I meet seem to work so hard to solidify my impression of them to be a certain way until one day suddenly BAM - FUCK - I have no fucking idea who you are.

And what is this shit with "white lies?" If you fucking think something then fucking say it. If you think comeone's not going to like it, tell them ANYWAY. Would you not agree people are better off knowing the truth than being lied to? It sure seems like it to me.

And finally: Girls, if you think I'm going to try to prove my value you to you by spending money on you, then you're going to be sorrily mistaken. I'm not saying I dont' like to foot the bill now and then but there's no fucking way I'm putting down cash every time for no reason. That's not how I roll, and if that's what you want, you'd better put an ad in the back of the Georgia Strait in the fucking escorts section because that's the best way for you to get what you want.

Who the fuck are you?

Moving Forward...
Here's the latest sketch...

Moving Forward

The boss calls a conference after receiving an email. He has his best men formulate strategies to the emerging challenge.

TrueNuff TV!
http://tv.truenuff.com

Google Video
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6293223061482433495

iFilm
http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2731692

YouTube is being a (C-bomb) so we can't upload to it right now. I'm pretty happy with this one - the fewest disappointments in production - so check it out, pass it around, or at least call me immature and unfunny.

You bastard.

Outrage Report
It's time once again for the Outrage report. Sharing with you all kinds of nasty things you'd probably be happier not knowing about.

First is the report from CBC that apparently over the last 50 years a small CFB city in New Brunswick has been some kind of crazy chemical spray test site for herbicides on the population including, but not limited to, Agent Orange in the 60's.

"It confirms that the U.S. military tested Agent Orange - which was used extensively by the U.S. in the Vietnam War, and has been the subject of numerous lawsuits in the States - at CFB Gagetown in 1966 and 1967.

But it also reveals that several other groups tested chemical herbicides on base property before and after the American tests. Those groups included the Canadian Forest Service and the U.S.-based multinational Dow Chemical Co., which tested commercial herbicides on base property in 1990."

Lovely. Thanks, Lester.

In other, more disturbing news, this isn't so much a recent development as just something that's an ongoing fight for human rights in Pakistan for women (and some men) regarding "Honor killings."

""Until women are allowed to get educated ... these crimes will continue," said Mai, whose rape was ordered by village elders after her 12-year-old brother was accused of having sexual relations with a woman of another tribe.

A gang rape at the hands of a group of men after her BROTHER, who's TWELVE, has SEX. What the fuck? You'd think they'd throw a Goddamn PARTY for the little bastard.

Now in the defense of the government of Pakistan, there are penalties for those convicted of honor killings, but it's way too hard to get a conviction or even get a report of these things happening. There are too many examples of why the law can't help in that news story to be able to blame any branch of government, but more the blame lies in the clash of an increasing modern, moderate world and old world cultures being starved into having to deal with this alien force known as the western world.

An finally, the US recently made an offer to enter into diplomatic talks with Iran for the first time in 27 years if only Iran would suspend it's nuclear enrichment program. And of course Iran said today that they wouldn't mind chatting but they'll be damned if they're going to stop their nuclear program.

Manouchehr Mottaki, the Iranian Foreign Minister, today rejected the condition of the offer but said that he was otherwise prepared to enter talks with Iran's historic 'great enemy'.

Nice. Very 'cool' of Iran to throw in that little jab there at the end. It kind of says "come on over for tea" but also "so I can stab you in the eye."

Thank God I live in Canada.

Government worse than ours? Yes.
Okay, so sometimes our government can seem stupid or irrational, but holy crap Taiwan needs to learn a few lessons from Robert's Rules of Order.

News Article:
Pandemonium broke out in Taiwan's parliament Tuesday when deputies attacked a woman colleague for snatching and trying to eat a proposal on opening direct transport links with China in a bid to stop a vote on the issue.

I gotta admit, I never would've thought of that.

But still, that's probably not as bad for their democracy as The Charity, Freedom and Diversity Party of Holland would be if they ever got into power.

News Article:
Dutch pedophiles are launching a political party to push for a cut in the legal age for sexual relations to 12 from 16 and the legalization of child pornography and sex with animals, sparking widespread outrage.

Fucking eww. I don't know who should be more upset by the article, the pedophiles for being assiciated with the animal fuckers, or the animal fuckers for being associated with pedophiles.

ANOTHER New sketch up at TrueNuff
More new material up at tv.truenuff.com!

Good Ninja / Bad Ninja: Hidden Wind

Ancient techniques of this plotting of concealment in the demonstration of two Ninja. The air whose between of the friend is bad is obtained.

        * TrueNuff TV!
        * YouTube
        * Google Video
        * iFilm

NINJA!

New Sketch Comedy @ www.truenuff.com
Alright folks, the first in a string of new sketch videos is now up at tv.truenuff.com!

It's called "New Blood"

A successful company is looking for dynamic, motivated go-getters to join their team. Let's sit in on an interview...

        * TrueNuff TV! - (http://tv.truenuff.com/)
        * YouTube - (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZFlxtIyM4w)
        * Google Video
        * iFilm - (http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2728586)

Comment here, or comment at our site - knock yourself out (and then comment afterwards). The Pike & C-Bomb are also re-mastered and re-released, check them out at the TrueNuff TV! site.

Current Music: Zero 7 - One Arm Break

Moving Forward

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